So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
