The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
