brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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