so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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