So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
