Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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