WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
