My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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