You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
