I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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