as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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