At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
