I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
