recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
