when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
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