D3 body, D1 cock
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
