He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
