Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
