Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
