So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
