It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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