First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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