I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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