Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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