whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
