im about as happy as oj after his trial
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize