ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
