he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means