i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void