I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??