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shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Randomize
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