census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize