I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
