so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
