brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
