So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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