She is in my trunk
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize