I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
