You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
