Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
