I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
