i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
