He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
