Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
