He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
