life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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