So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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