clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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