Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
