Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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