yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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