I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize