??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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