I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the condom got lost in my hair
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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