How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
