after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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