So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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