from now on my penis is your penis
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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