Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
