i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
