if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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