Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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