i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
