Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
