Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
