His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
